I’ve seen you’ve been pretty busy with all the New 52 stuff and and I gotta say, I have a love/hate relationship with most of your titles. But that’s neither here nor there, I have a different thing to discuss with you, and that is the matter of Lobo.

An Editorial by Pablo Arriaga

What you’re doing to him hurts me. I can almost forgive what happened with his first appearance in the New 52 with Rob Liefeld and him ending up looking like a roided-out, Jersey Shore reject. After all, it’s Rob Liefeld. But then you had Villains Month and showed us the images of what he would look like.

Why does Lobo look like a Twilight reject character?

I can’t believe it. You’ve taken away the badass metal Lobo I know and love. I still  bought that issue, I figured I might as well give it a chance. It was a gut punch. You told me that everything I knew and loved about this character was a farce. Instead there was this new skinny guy who says “Sorry. Not sorry,” (seriously, he’s not a teenager) to replace him. Now you’re gonna give us the continuation to that story with a cover that hits me right in the metalhead feels.

What are you doing to him?

Why such a drastic change to the character?

I think you’re missing the point of why this character was so loved. It was created right for the metal audience, from the very beginning I could see him rocking out somewhere with KISS, Alice Cooper, or another Shock Rock band. Then you switched his character to represent this overt machismo and complete insanity attitude towards life. He was still a parody, but one that us metalheads could relate to. He was loud, obnoxious, loved to drink and party, and enjoyed a good brawl the same way a metalhead would enjoy a moshpit.

You’re taking all that away from us. And this new image wipes away everything that’s great about the character. I couldn’t see Simon Bisley drawing this version of Lobo. This is not the badass motherfucker who’s banned from both Heaven and Hell. I’m not sure Scott Ian would write a story for this version of Lobo and this isn’t the Lobo who would drag the mighty Hal Jordan on his tailpipe like he was a dirty ragdoll.

And subsequently control a Red Ring from Atrocitus. All our Lobo needs his Spacehog, his Dawg (whenever he feel like hang out), and his hook. No fancy lasers or trickery; he faces those bastiches front and center, because the more they struggle and fight, the more he enjoys the bounty.

DC, you’re in the business of creating gods, Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern. We’re not supposed to relate directly to them, but to aspire to have their innate qualities and unbreakable sense of justice, protection for mankind, and overcoming fear. Lobo is also a parody of that. He’s a relentless anti-hero who stops at nothing to be the best, the “Main Man,” and with this comes his attributes that make him a metal god; love for debauchery and destruction, addiction to ultra-violence, and obviously, the joy of heavy metal.

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Pablo Arriaga has been bringing the gospel of The Slacker Nerd to countless people the world over with Juatcast.com. He also writes the most metal rants on the web and knows a better recipe for tacos than you do. For more writings or to be baptized in the arms of Matthew McConaughey follow Pabby on Twitter and Facebook.